Getting on the wrong train was the highlight of my summer

Me and Bobbie!

Earlier this August, I caught a train to D.C.—or so I thought. I had actually boarded the wrong train, which led to a panic attack on the SEPTA to Philly. I’ll skip that part, since it’s honestly the least interesting part of the story.

While waiting in Philadelphia for the next train to D.C., I joined a conversation between two people: an elderly woman and a younger woman in her 20s. They didn’t seem to know each other, just passing the time chatting. Normally, I would have been too nervous to join in, but I was still buzzing with adrenaline from my earlier panic.

On the train, I ended up talking with Bobbie, the elderly woman, and Serena, the younger one, for over two hours. That conversation ended up teaching me some of the most important lessons of my summer. I wanted to write about it because, in a way, it ties back to the idea of sonder—something I reflected on earlier this summer.

What I’ve realized now is that there are multiple layers to understanding the world around us: the external and the internal. At first, I only understood the external—the awareness of the complexities in other people’s lives, even when they’re strangers. But the second layer, which I think is even more significant, is the willingness to engage with those complexities, using them as a way to better understand yourself.

In this digital age, we seem to be losing comfort with simple human interactions. Even something as small as looking up from your phone to smile at a passing stranger can feel “too much” or “weird.” Of course, not every situation calls for interaction—you still have to read the room. But the ability to connect, even at the most basic level, is critical for understanding who we are in relation to the larger world.

Bobbie shared her experience majoring in Russian, where she was one of the only women in her department. She often felt like an outcast, but instead of letting that discourage her, she became one of the best in her class. We talked about books, travel, podcasts, and even relationships. It was refreshing to be vulnerable with someone who didn’t associate me with the social identities I usually carry.

Now, Bobbie and I are pen pals. Every so often, we exchange new books and podcasts we’ve discovered.

Looking back, my external was going out of my way to ask for help and strike up a conversation with two strangers. My internal was allowing myself to engage deeply in that conversation.

Getting on the wrong train ended up teaching me lessons I’ll cherish forever: becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortable, and learning to turn what could have been an adverse experience into a surprisingly meaningful one.